Dr. Malik’s Grim Gratitude

Well, there were days when we used to end a peaceful Ashura by thanking heavens. Not anymore though. Owing to the doctorate backed sagacity of Rehman Malik, we thank Taliban instead. The sheer force of cocky beard-ness has played on our minds to the extent of us appreciating the same cult which has literally destroyed the very fabric of socio-religious equilibrium, whatever was left of it, that is. What’s next; thanking dacoits for sparing us at a funeral or thanking rapists for being discreet in their doing? I would like to think of it as a classic case of Stockholm madness, but something tells me there is more to it than meets the eye (or ear).


Over the last few years, there has been a constant deterioration of Pakistani ties with the US. Well, with the end game approaching and a possible withdrawal in sight, drying up of multimillion dollar lucrativeness was not that difficult to foresee. The dusted ‘ideological frontiers doctrine’, which has long served to be a perfect baton, was pulled out from the lore and the rhetoric of ‘patriotism’ (read: religious jingoism) and ‘strategic depth’ (read: strategic abyss) now serves as the paradigm of foreign/internal policy design. Those who were seen as threats to ‘national security’ and ‘territorial integrity’ would now be viewed as ‘strategic allies’ (minus the dollars this time). Reason ought to be simple; two open frontiers could be an army’s worst nightmare and not stirring up a confusion of effectsis a threat to the stability of military’s own economic establishments. Hence, the perfect fit.


Conspiracy theories are despicable at best, but nothing gets one more nauseous than reason-ignorant, sunshine-spitting; idiocy. Those celebrating the end of ‘imperialism’ should know that more than anything else, this is trading one hedonistic agenda for another while a barter of sorts rarely pays off. Interestingly, there is something about the entire affair which reminds me of a Frank Miller neo-noir comic series about pimps and mercenaries.